My life: the road to nowhere/The Road To Somewhere

One day I awoke and there I was traveling down the wrong road

There were many signs, the aches and hurts, the bruises and pain

Dad after day I walked this road, year after year I suffered

My feet bare, my eyes blind, my mind a confused mess

Stumbling around in the dark on the rocky road of selfishness and doubt, lust and fear

Winding and wandering between hills and valleys, always more downs than ups

This path of trudging down the road carrying heavy burdens

It drew like a magnet, each day I was there

Painfully aware I was on the ugly road again

With no thought of escape or even that I could

That eventful morning I don’t remember waking

I only remember staring in wonder at the dazzling light

The brightly beaming rays that lit up every dark space -

My room and my heart and my mind

I watched in delirious amazement as what seemed to be

Seven tiny, brilliantly beautiful fairies

Danced on the translucent beams in a world of their own

My first thought…I must be dreaming

And I wanted to dwell in this happy state forever…

Then my dad shouted, “Hurry! Get up!

“Pack your things, we’re taking a trip!”

Dad’s voice and words suddenly broke the spell, it couldn’t have been real

I lay dreamily in bed, wishing and hoping against hope that sweet magic and feeling would go on… forever

I couldn’t remember going from unconsciousness to consciousness that fairytale morning

From sleeping to awaking, it was as if I had never slept before

Or ever would again!

Forever awake and forever aware from that moment forward…

I quickly threw some clothes in a bag and grabbed the diaper bag

Filling it with everything my baby son would need for our family trip

To the warmth of the desert and the Arizona sun, the beautiful Indian skies

Ah! Today is a new day, a day like no other I’d ever known

An escape, a new experience, a new road!

Getting away from all the insecurities and ones who didn’t care

To a new place, a new routine

Shopping, lounging, sightseeing, adventure

Swimming, exploring, fun in the desert sun! A new me!

Mom and her five girls did our thing while Dad headed off to church

Somewhere in the middle, things came to a screeching halt

As I found myself sitting beside Dad at church

This wasn’t me, I had no desire to be here, how did this happen?

Yet I really was sitting there with Dad amid his church convention

I would just have to bide my time, try as I could to ignore the speaker

And before I knew it, back to the motel and vacation

But that didn’t happen, I had no control

My mind grabbed my soul and wouldn’t let go

The voice in me said, Listen child! Listen!

What I heard next shook me to the core, I was now wide awake

The voice pointed to the fork in the road.

And I knew it was decision day.

And I had to choose. Which road would I take?

The road of my insecure, mixed-up life which only made me sick?

Or Dad’s road, the one I also disliked in all my carnality?

Oh let me correct myself! This new way I began to find intriguing

The fork in the road stared back at me

Glaring in stark reality

Light or dark

God’s path or mine

Instruction or destruction…

Which would you choose?

The choice was clear and I could see

To have God himself as a guide and friend

What could be better than that?

I mean, He talked to me!

I knew that without a doubt

And I felt His presence the night we left

On the road back home

I looked up at the starry sky in worship

Thinking how He had made it all so glorious

And I could feel God looking down on me

And could almost see a smile on His face

As He heard my heart and soul cry out to Him

This great being I had never known before

He was right there with me…and I was so happy…

It made me cry tears of joy

He provided the new road and path

He showed me which way to go

But I had to choose it

And thirty two years later

I am still making that choice

Living the way that truly satisfies

His way of give

His laws of perfection

His love in the person of His son

Our Savior

Guiding each step of my journey now…

And into eternity

The God Family path of life